time.

why is it that football time goes so much slower than real time?

picture this:

you're sitting there, 

in the east bleachers...

roasting, 

sweating, 

dying...

(tiny exaggeration)

but you're waitingggg,

waiting for half time because half time means

shade

and a drink 

and relief from this ridiculous heat

and there are 10 minutes left on the clock

you think,

"10 minutes?  I can handle that, no big deal, don't freak out"

except 

in football time one minute is actually the equivalent of two minutes

most of the time... 

except

when there's an injury

or a foul 

or a time out

or a fumble
or a touchdown

or everything else that happens in football

that's when one minute actually ends up being equal to three or four minutes

and half time never comes

so you roast 
and then decide to leave when there are still 5 minutes on the clock till the half

because, gosh darn it, football time takes too long