how to talk to british people 101

 **all facts were gathered from an authentic and actual londoner, feel free to take notes, i did


{rule #1}  names
don't tell a british person your name first off in a conversation,in fact it's not customary to tell the other person your name until right when your walking away, then you must turn back and say, "oh bother i didn't catch your name, what was it again?" even though the topic of names never came up the whole time and you are both well aware of that fact

{rule #2}  the weather
since you don't start off any conversation by introducing yourself it is customary for the english to ease into a conversation by asking noncommittal questions like, "gosh it's rainy today isn't it?" or "sure did get rather blustery out there earlier don't you think?" to gauge whether or not the other person wants to talk to them or not

{rule #3}  old is good
the brits love their old stuff so when in doubt comment on age, "gosh your house looks like it was built in the 19th century?" and you're in

{rule #4}  accents
british people can smell a phony one a mile away and most likely will be offended by your impersonations. avoid.

{rule #5}  americans
as hard as we might try we are still americans and we tend to come off rather clamorous to the british population (at least according to my source).  not that they don't like us they just don't like us so loud so close, so try to keep it down please
{rule #6}  speech
the brits love irony and understatement, for example, if it is raining cats and dogs outside and you forgot your umbrella and are sopping wet when you get to your british friend's house they will most likely open the door for you, take in your dripping hair and soggy t-shirt and say, "bit wet out there is it?" - get used to this, it happens all the time